Products That
Fail -
08.15.08
Shamrock
Farms Chocolate Milk
If you don't like chocolate milk then I
could never be friends with you because
you're probably Russian or something and
Russians are just weird. Yes, I drink chocolate
milk, and no, I am not ten-years-old. I
just love the stuff, so lay off of me or
I'll stab you in the face with a screwdriver.
Chocolate milk is the shit. It's also good
for mixing drinks with. Ever tried Captain
Morgan Spiced Rum and chocolate milk? It's
fucking delicious and will get you all fucked-up.
Yes, chocolate milk is truly some of the
best stuff on the planet. What's even better
is when you buy chocolate milk
and
can actually fucking open it.
That's not the case if you buy chocolate
milk from that piece of shit comapany "Shamrock
Farms." This genius company decided
to fucking superglue their safety seals
onto all of their damn bottles. I'm not
kidding when I say removing that tiny little
safety seal takes fucking forever and seriously
requires a knife or a hand grenade. It looks
so easy to remove, right? Just pull the
handy-dandy tab and you're good to go, right?
Wrong, motherfucker! You pull on it and
nothing happens. They seriously must use
superglue to put these seals on. Maybe they
just assume that only little kids drink
this shit so they superglue the seals on
just to fuck with them? In which case that
would actually be hilarious and Shamrock
Farms would be the coolest company ever
because I fucking hate little kids and one
of those shit, piss, and booger machines
tried to steal my dog last month.
